Guide to Writing Meaningful Condolence Messages
Losing a loved one is emotionally distressing and difficult. Sending the bereaved condolence messages during this time can give them a sense of comfort and support. However, finding the right words to express sorrow when someone is grieving is never easy. So, we listed a few tips for people trying to write heartfelt condolence messages. Before getting to it, let us learn a little more about why these messages are written.
Reasons to write a condolence message
A condolence message is like a sympathy message, which one can write as a brief letter or card. It is written to a person who is mourning the loss of a loved one.
Although sending a mass-produced condolence card from the store is easier, writing a personal message is more meaningful for the receiver. Before drafting a message, one should be clear about their thoughts. Usually, there are two main reasons behind writing these messages:
- To offer support
A bereaved person needs support in various ways. For example, they may need help cooking or more cooperation at work. One can lend a helping hand with any task, depending on their relationship with the bereaved person.
It is common for a bereaved person to be surrounded by loved ones and get the necessary support in the early days of mourning. However, they often feel isolated and alone as time passes. Therefore, a condolence message can be a meaningful way to keep in touch over the weeks and months following the loss of a loved one. One can send a follow-up message after the first one. A follow-up is a good way of checking on the bereaved and letting them know they still have support and help if needed.
How to draft a condolence message?
The best condolence messages usually consist of four parts. Knowing the basic structure can be a helpful starting point when one is lost and does not know what to communicate and express in the condolence message.
- Greeting
Start the message with a brief and somber greeting like any other note or letter. For instance, simply write “Dear [name]” or only their name. - A heartfelt condolence or sympathetic message
This is the main reason for writing the message. Here, express and communicate sympathy or sorrow for the loss. For instance, one can write, “I’m so sorry for your loss. [Name of the loved one] was such a special person. My heart goes out to you and your family.” An offer of support can follow this. - A memory or brief anecdote (if appropriate)
Senders can include this section only if they have had a personal or significant relationship with the deceased. Just make sure to keep it brief so as not to cause more emotional distress to the bereaved. - Signature
Finally, the message can be concluded with one’s signature or name.
Dos and don’ts while writing a condolence message
While there is no right way to draft a condolence message, there are a few things one needs to keep in mind.
- Put some thought into the context
Whether writing short condolence messages or a sympathetic letter, it is crucial to be mindful of the tone. - Avoiding stating that one knows how the bereaved feels
Everyone’s experience with mourning and grief is not the same. Besides, the purpose of a condolence message is to show support for the bereaved. So, even if someone has been in a similar situation, they should not say or imply that they know how the bereaved feels. Instead of consoling, such messages hurt the receiver. - Keep the dynamics of the relationship in mind
When writing the message, one should always consider how close they were to the deceased. One should also be mindful of how close the message’s receiver was to the bereaved person. For instance, a condolence message to a close friend will differ from one written to a coworker. - Avoid making the message too long
Those grieving the loss of a loved one may find it harder to keep up with the demands of daily life. They may also find reading and responding to long-winded condolence messages challenging. So, make the message as brief and concise as possible. - Make sure to express kindness
Losing a loved one is difficult. Therefore, one must draft a meaningful condolence message by leading it with kindness. Always keep the emotions and needs of the bereaved person at the center of the message. Some good ways to express kindness in the message include sending thoughts of love and peace and being open to talking over the call or meeting in person. - Never downplay the pain and loss
Many commit the blunder of writing something like “[name of the deceased] is in a better place now” or “time heals all wounds.” While the sender may have good intentions, such words often seem like they are invalidating the bereaved person’s pain and loss. So, avoid writing anything that may imply one is minimizing the grief a person is feeling after losing a loved one.
